Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Randomize
