So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
