This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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