i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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