Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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