i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
