Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
he fucked my hip out of place.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
