cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize