you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
