Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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