I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
