he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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