Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
not ubering you a puppy
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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