Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
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