god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
PANTIES FOUND
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