and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
