Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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