Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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