ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Terrible idea I love it
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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