Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Randomize
