Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
