I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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