I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
