I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
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