Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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