I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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