Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(845): View more from New York

i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.

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(713): View more from Texas

she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..

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(925): View more from California

We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?

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(407): View more from Florida

it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?

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