so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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