but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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