After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
My legs feel like baby dolphins
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Randomize
