It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
