Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
this just has baby written all over it
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
We had to coat check the pizza.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
