If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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