So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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