The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Randomize
