Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
