Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
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