New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize