absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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