Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize