i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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