He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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