What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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