I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
