Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
