I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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