Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
