If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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