So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
