you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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