Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize