And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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