Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
