You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
