Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
this hospital has no fireball
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
