i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
