I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Randomize