I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
