Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
