I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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